I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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