You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
