Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize