He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
