So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize