yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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