You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
