i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
