You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
