My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
