just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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