just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
