she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
