Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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