Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize