The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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