what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize