they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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