He is an equal opportunity slut.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
