i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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