So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
