I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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