chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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