I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
