I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
