the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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