So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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