You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
