can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
