Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize