Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
