Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize