You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
