We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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