U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
