glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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