C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she looked like the before picture.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
