My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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