I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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