you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
