Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
