I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
