dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
