hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
