If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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