Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
