So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
