I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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