I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
