you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
