...so i touched it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
