i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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