Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
