He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
