After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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