Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize