somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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