Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
