brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize