just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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