my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
