after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
