i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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