smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize